Incomprehensibly Fabulous

From http://triciagoyer.blogspot.com/2010/08/marriage-meme-lets-share.html

•How did you meet your husband? We met at the Feast of Tabernacles in Keystone, Colorado in 1994.
•What did you first notice about him? The very first thing? He was really handsome, and he had kind eyes.  
•How long have you been married? We have been married for 15 years.
•Share something you discovered about him after you were married that surprised you? His love of country music surprised me, as did the fact that he is naturally very goofy (when he's around a few people he knows well).
•What do you argue about the most? We don't really argue much...probably mostly misunderstandings in word or deed.
•What quality in him do you admire most? He is steadfast about doing the right thing in every situation.
•What is the hardest part about being married? It's hard when visions don't agree.
•What’s the best part about being married? Everything! The best part about marriage is having someone who really knows you and whom you really know, and you can stand together.
•What has changed the most about you since you've been married? I have become so much more relaxed than I used to be (which should be a stunning realization to those who know me well!).
•What’s the one piece of advice you’d give to other wives about creating a happy marriage? Men do not communicate like women do. Most of the time, there's nothing to read "between the lines." Start with the assumption that he's saying what he means and don't aggravate yourself over what you think he might mean unless there is some other reason to think so. Men are a whole lot simpler to understand than we make them.
•What's the one piece of advice you'd give to your children about creating a happy marriage? Choose to marry someone who loves God and who loves other people, and who loves the things you love. Don't marry someone and think you'll change them! 

#6: He loves his kids.

You can guess at how good a dad someone might be, but you never really know until they actually have children. Chris is an amazing dad. From the minute we found out we would be parents, he has adored his children. Which doesn't mean he spoils them--no way! But he does enter into their world and allow them entrance to his. He plans fun things for them, challenges them, engages them, talks to them, and loves them. He is patient with them and silly with them. He provides a good example of how to be a dad and husband.

#4: He works hard and he never, never whines about it.

I remember a Rose is Rose comic strip that had the son asking why he should thank his dad for doing what he's supposed to do. His mom replied, "Not every mortal man does what he's supposed to do." I am fortunate to be married to a man who does not only what he's supposed to do, but extra stuff you'd never expect him to do--without every playing the martyr or complaining about how hard he's working.

He gets up before I do every morning during the week, drives half an hour to work, drives half an hour back home afterwards--and then signs on for the evening shift. He helps the kids with their homework. He helps me with my schoolwork. He does side projects for our church organization and others. He served as president of our nascent Neighborhood Association, including walking the neighborhood distributing flyers regarding a key meeting. He is always willing to serve on committees, from community zoning to planning a high school reunion. He is on call for work, too,

This morning, even though it was already later in the day and hot already, he got up, dressed, and mowed the lawn and trimmed the hedges. Not only that, he had the patience to allow our younger son to come help trim the hedges, although the Boy is new at it and it was really hot and this particular Boy is not noted for persistence. This past two weeks, he gave his after-work time to helping complete the bathroom, figuring out what was needed and helping with the tasks that he had time to do.

I have never heard him complain about having to work. I never have heard him say, "Well, I shouldn't have to do that because I worked all day today and I'm tired." He does what he's supposed to do and then he does more, and he doesn't demand thanks or recompense--he sees it as his duty, and he does it with his whole heart. Chris rocks.

He is earnest.

Merriam Webster defines being earnest as "characterized by or proceeding from an intense and serious state of mind." I'm a goofy sort of gal, but goofy only gets you so far. I really treasure knowledge and ability, things that are not typically garnered with anything but earnestness of purpose. When Chris decides to do something or say something, it's thought out, purposeful, and done for a reason--whether that something is buying a piece of land or deciding to rate and review Reubens. Is Chris fun and goofy? Absolutely (more on that in the coming days). But one of the things I value is the fact that there is some serious ratiocination going on under that handsome exterior.

When I first met my husband, we were visiting an area in which neither of us lived. At the end of three days, we each headed home to our own towns; mine was Green River, Wyoming. His was Indianapolis, IN.

I remember very clearly the pangs of being separated by geography from one whom I adored. I would think, "I wonder what he is doing now. I hope he's well." But secretly, I would hope he wasn't too happy without me, as I longed so much to be with him. I had fun without him there, but I knew how much more fun everything would be if we were together.

I was jealous of people who got to see him every day. I was jealous of the activities he pursued while we were far apart. It wasn't an angry jealousy, a jealousy that demanded that he should do nothing but sit at home, pining and writing letters (though, well, I didn't mind when he was pining and writing letters, because hello! Letters from my guy!). It was a jealousy that hoped he would remember me, that the people he was with wouldn't distract him from me completely, that he would still, somewhere, be thinking of me--because I thought of him.

Confession: I'm still jealous over him. We've been married for fifteen years (well, come July). Still, when we are apart, I always hope he's having fun--but not too much fun. It delights me when he calls during the day, or brings home some little something, or sends me an e-mail...it tells me that I am not forgotten, that even if I am temporarily eclipsed by something important, he still thinks of me and loves me more than almost anything.

Today, I was thinking about God and His jealousy. I wonder whether He is the same way over my heart. Does He wish that I would remember Him more often? Does He know that I need time to nap or play or be silly, but hope that underneath, I will remember Him and not tarry too long? Do the times I remember Him--the Sabbaths, the prayers, the hymns--do they delight Him?