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"Survival Christianity"
Nov. 13th, 2010 07:35 amI don't really like conflict. I don't find joy in landing amidst chaos and having to straighten it out (hence my lack of enthusiasm for housework, I expect). I like consistency. I like sameness. I like the placid wearing of days where I know what I am to do and I am able to do it without too much stretching.
Life, however, firmly refuses to cooperate with me. And God seems very interested in making me stretch when I don't want to, making me cope with unexpectedness and my own fear of the unknown. While I do enjoy a bit of a challenge, I much prefer those challenges to be simply cerebral, rather than all-inclusive; yet right now I find that the biggest challenges are those where I need to cope with five people needing five different things while 30 children ask for dog books, ghost books, and the only copy of Bad Kitty, which has been checked out since the end of last year. And sometimes there will be the added attraction of a head cold (mine), suspected lice (someone else's), or a fire drill (you try closing and locking those four doors in less than a minute). And somewhere in there I'm supposed to be far more than just the library clerk, just Mom, just a student: I'm supposed to be reflecting Christ.
Right now, I'm thinking of it in these terms: I know a smattering of a couple different languages. At the time I visited Ukraine, I could speak what I would call "survival Russian." Essentially, I could state my name, I could ask for directions, I could read the alphabet, and I could ask for the restroom. That was it. So when I say, "survival Russian," I mean that I could communicate enough to probably not be hopelessly lost and dazed, but nothing beyond that.
Now, I am not fluent in French, but I am far beyond the "survival" stage. I can speak a little bit. I can understand a little bit, far more if it is written. I can carry on simple conversations, and if my grammar and vocabulary are limited I can at least get around and interact with those around me. If I were dropped in the middle of France, I could do a little better than just coping and hoping that someone would rescue me.
Right now, I think I am learning how much I need to develop to be beyond "survival Christianity." If I remain focused only on my stressors, on how afraid I am, on my personal circumstances, I am of little use to anyone else. I started with that self-interest: who is God? Who am I? How do those two things relate? My vocabulary and my ability were limited.
But now I am (hopefully) on the road to becoming more mature, more able, more aware: this is about so much more than my just scraping by. There are people around me who need light, need joy, need peace. When I am focused on God and focused on others, I can be someone who brings those things to others. Those fruits will be borne when I turn my focus from just surviving my surroundings to interacting with and impacting those surroundings.
I don't like being dropped in the middle of chaos, just as I don't think I should like to be scooped up and dropped in the middle of a foreign city; but I would rather be able to interact with those surroundings than to just sit tight and hope that the few words I knew were the right ones to get me out of there.
Life, however, firmly refuses to cooperate with me. And God seems very interested in making me stretch when I don't want to, making me cope with unexpectedness and my own fear of the unknown. While I do enjoy a bit of a challenge, I much prefer those challenges to be simply cerebral, rather than all-inclusive; yet right now I find that the biggest challenges are those where I need to cope with five people needing five different things while 30 children ask for dog books, ghost books, and the only copy of Bad Kitty, which has been checked out since the end of last year. And sometimes there will be the added attraction of a head cold (mine), suspected lice (someone else's), or a fire drill (you try closing and locking those four doors in less than a minute). And somewhere in there I'm supposed to be far more than just the library clerk, just Mom, just a student: I'm supposed to be reflecting Christ.
Right now, I'm thinking of it in these terms: I know a smattering of a couple different languages. At the time I visited Ukraine, I could speak what I would call "survival Russian." Essentially, I could state my name, I could ask for directions, I could read the alphabet, and I could ask for the restroom. That was it. So when I say, "survival Russian," I mean that I could communicate enough to probably not be hopelessly lost and dazed, but nothing beyond that.
Now, I am not fluent in French, but I am far beyond the "survival" stage. I can speak a little bit. I can understand a little bit, far more if it is written. I can carry on simple conversations, and if my grammar and vocabulary are limited I can at least get around and interact with those around me. If I were dropped in the middle of France, I could do a little better than just coping and hoping that someone would rescue me.
Right now, I think I am learning how much I need to develop to be beyond "survival Christianity." If I remain focused only on my stressors, on how afraid I am, on my personal circumstances, I am of little use to anyone else. I started with that self-interest: who is God? Who am I? How do those two things relate? My vocabulary and my ability were limited.
But now I am (hopefully) on the road to becoming more mature, more able, more aware: this is about so much more than my just scraping by. There are people around me who need light, need joy, need peace. When I am focused on God and focused on others, I can be someone who brings those things to others. Those fruits will be borne when I turn my focus from just surviving my surroundings to interacting with and impacting those surroundings.
I don't like being dropped in the middle of chaos, just as I don't think I should like to be scooped up and dropped in the middle of a foreign city; but I would rather be able to interact with those surroundings than to just sit tight and hope that the few words I knew were the right ones to get me out of there.
