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Yesterday, I was reading a blog post about Proverbs 27:14, which reads, "If you shout a pleasant greeting to your neighbor too early in the morning, it will be counted as a curse!"

One thing I love about the proverbs is how thought-provoking they are. We start with the obvious: even nice things--good things--can be annoying if they're done at the wrong time. If I'm bringing you homebaked chocolate chip cookies, but I deliver them at 5 a.m. with a strident ring on the doorbell, the effect of the nice gesture is going to be rather lost. There is a time and a place for everything!

Of course, we can then step further and ask, "Well, how early is too early?" I mean, I'm up at 6 on school mornings, but I have friends who shouldn't be disturbed before 10 a.m., or even noon. A lot depends on the day and the person and the circumstances. So we have here another thought: just because you are up early (and happy), don't assume that other people are! There's a certain amount here of putting yourself in someone else's shoes. As we know, "Do unto others as you'd have done to you" only goes so far.

Lastly, though, it occurred to me that we can take this another step and put ourselves in the shoes of the person who is counting the greeting as a curse. Let me tell you about two boys first. We'll call one Boy A and one Boy B. Boy A wakes with a bounce and an enthusiastic heart. He rises full of vim and vigor, ready to tackle breakfast and running on all four cylinders.

The other boy, Boy B, wakes halfway, falls asleep, and needs about five wake-up calls to finally rise. He gets dressed lying on the floor to "use less energy" and then trails into the kitchen, eyelids at half-mast. He bids me "good morning" in a humming language that does not usse words. He does not want to talk, he does not want to hear a funny joke, he does not, in fact, want anything other than to eat really slowly while being left alone.

These two sit next to each other.

You can imagine the fun and frivolity as Boy A greets his brother with verve and joy and Boy B thinks about shoving napkins in his ears to avoid the sound of Boy A's voice. Two boys who usually get along very well can be at loggerheads within minutes--one crying and angry and the other exasperated--"I didn't DO anything! I just told him a joke!"

Now, here's the thing. One's pleasant morning greeting is being counted as a curse. Should he know better than to jump immediately into conversation and frivolity? Yes. But on the other hand...Boy B should know that his brother is not trying to be rude or loud, but rather to spend some time with him before leaving for school.

Which brings us to how personally most of us take things when a gesture falls flat. We are quite quick to snarl to ourselves and to others about that loser who woke us up with his noisy singing. I think that there is a lesson about that here, too: look at the intent. Look at the motivation. Was the person really trying to be annoying? Were they really being completely careless? Or were they making a gesture that didn't communicate itself in the way it was intended?

Whether we're morning people or not, we can all learn something about time, place, and motivation from this parable.

Date: 2010-07-28 02:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moredetails.livejournal.com
Yes, the morning person was trying to be annoying!! ;) That's just what Morning People do, and they are proud of it! They are like alarm clocks!

I totally identify with Boy B. The "less energy" thing sounds like something I would've said as a kid..haha..

Okay, seriously, good post. I had forgotten about that Proverb but it's a funny one. I could've said that one to my family so many times in life!

Date: 2010-07-28 03:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radiantlove.livejournal.com
Heheh... my husband and I have had to work through some of this ;)

Date: 2010-07-28 04:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mattiescottage.livejournal.com
I had totally forgotten about that Proverb.

Your discussion reminds me that it is not just about morning people and their counterparts. You could say that Boy A--assuming his heart is in the right place and his sharing of morning joy well-intended--could be "casting his pearls before swine."
"Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.--Matthew 7:6
Part of the brokenness of this present world is that our understanding and communication with others is imperfect. These scriptures seem to indicate that we bear the responsibility of trying to be more aware of how interrelate with others, even when what we have to share is good and true and God-breathed and worthy.

Your words about the right time and place probably put your finger on the problem more than anything else. Yes, that is scriptural. Good things can warped out-of-balance when not applied with discernment. [sigh]

Date: 2010-07-28 11:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lorelei-n.livejournal.com
I did not recall that Proverb, but you are very correct in your assessment of it. I am not a late sleeper, but not a morning person. My husband on the other hand... We're a lot like your boys. :)

Date: 2010-07-29 09:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bojojoti.livejournal.com
My husband wakes up fully charged and brimming with thoughts that must be expressed. I awaken slowly with my only thought to avoid loud noises or bright lights for as long as possible. Conversely, as the day wans, he is fatigued and non-responsive, and I am brimming with ideas and projects.

It all comes down to love. When we love one another, we take the effort to know one another, and we fashion our actions and speech accordingly.

Date: 2010-07-30 08:25 pm (UTC)

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