Adventure

Yesterday was the date of a big caving expedition. Now, the husband used to do quite a bit of spelunking before we were married. I had promised that, at some point, I would go into a cave with him, and then if I didn't like it, he would never make me go back. See, I'm fine with caves with pathways and lights and bored tour guides who ask for tips. It's the whole getting dirty/darkness/small spaces thing I'm not wild about.

But a promise is a promise, so yesterday we went to Buckner Cave with a large group from church--I think we had right at 15 total, including children and teenagers. We entered through rain splatters and a bit of a waterfall across the cave mouth. Buckner starts as a huge, deep room with rubble that piles up against the back in a heap. This was immediately reassuring...and also misleading. To continue on the tour, one must enter through a small, slanted opening and then slither about 8' to a larger, open area that is tall enough for one to partially sit up in.

We lost two members of the expedition right at the start--that tunnel was just too tight for their adventurousness. I made it through all right and into the opening, but we had to wait for a while as messages were relayed about which path was the right one to take. Had we been able to keep moving steadily, I think we would have done all right; but the waiting, there in the dimness of the room, with the knowledge that we were surrounded by rock, was too much for some of the younger members of our group. Four of us turned around and rejoined the two who waited outside.

Those who kept going had an amazing time, and we were so proud of them for doing what we could not. This time, I made it through the most difficult part--next time, I hope to go further. Although my adventure was smaller than that of others, it was still adventuresome for me, and I was pleased that I made it as far as I did.

Discouragement and Disgruntlement

I took my Library final tonight. I'm so exasperated by it that I don't know whether to cry or be angry, and I ended up doing a little of both. During the course of this semester, we have used dozens of resources, in addition to our textbook. Let me assure you that I read the assigned readings and some of the non-mandatory readings. I have been an highly-conscientous student. This is the class where the "study guide" was basically part of the syllabus copied over.

I opened the exam to see that the bulk of it was composed of "questions" that were fill-in-the-blank. As in, actual sentences taken from one of the multiple resources we used, in which one word had been left out and we were to fill it in.

I did the best I could, with printouts of almost all of the resources we used. I couldn't open one or two come test time, so that was no help to me. I know my stuff! I honestly do! And yet...based on those portions of the test that can be automatically scored, I'm at about a 72% right now. I'm so agitated by it. This isn't testing what I actually know. It's not testing whether I know the concepts. It's testing whether I can remember a sentence from one of the sources and fill it in exactly the way it was presented.

Whether I make an A or a B in this course really will come down to this test. And I know it shouldn't matter to me that much, but it does.