The One Who Sees
Mar. 15th, 2010 07:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I was reading John 1 today, and I had forgotten about the interchange between Jesus and Nathaneal towards the end of the chapter:
43The next day Jesus decided to leave for Galilee. Finding Philip, he said to him, "Follow me."
44Philip, like Andrew and Peter, was from the town of Bethsaida. 45Philip found Nathanael and told him, "We have found the one Moses wrote about in the Law, and about whom the prophets also wrote—Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph."
46"Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?" Nathanael asked.
"Come and see," said Philip.
47When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, he said of him, "Here is a true Israelite, in whom there is nothing false."
48"How do you know me?" Nathanael asked.
Jesus answered, "I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you."
49Then Nathanael declared, "Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the King of Israel."
50Jesus said, "You believe because I told you I saw you under the fig tree. You shall see greater things than that." 51He then added, "I tell you the truth, you shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man."
Reading it reminded me of the story of Hagar, and how in Genesis 16:13, She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: "You are the God who sees me," for she said, "I have now seen the One who sees me." That is why the well was called Beer Lahai Roi; it is still there, between Kadesh and Bered.
When I was younger, the idea of a God who sees me was not comforting, but threatening: I thought of Him seeing me in my mistakes, displeased and frowning. It is only as I have gotten older that I have been able to understand why this idea of being seen would be anything but scary.
Being married and having children has perhaps been the biggest piece of enlightenment on this. "Seeing" my children means so much more than just monitoring their behavior; it means I see their hopes, their dreams, their fears, their worries. I see their laughter and I see the slump of disappointed shoulders. I see them strive and grow and change. I see their likes and dislikes. I see their love for me and their father, their battle to be independent people and yet to try to please us. I see us working together to be a harmonious, loving people.
The aspect of being married comes into it because Chris is the one person who knows me the most. He has seen me in triumph and despair, in sickness, in health, angry enough to kick a wall and happy enough that I seemed to walk on clouds. And amazingly, this seeing doesn't lessen me in his eyes; instead, he loves me--and in his love for me through all things, I learn to love him through all circumstances...because he sees me, and I see him.
And I think that this is where I wrap back around to Nathaneal and to Hagar. They saw God, they learned to look for Him--but only after He had seen them. They learned to trust Him, because first He sought them out, saw them, and entered their lives. In the same way, I am learning to love Him because first He loved me enough to see me.
43The next day Jesus decided to leave for Galilee. Finding Philip, he said to him, "Follow me."
44Philip, like Andrew and Peter, was from the town of Bethsaida. 45Philip found Nathanael and told him, "We have found the one Moses wrote about in the Law, and about whom the prophets also wrote—Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph."
46"Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?" Nathanael asked.
"Come and see," said Philip.
47When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, he said of him, "Here is a true Israelite, in whom there is nothing false."
48"How do you know me?" Nathanael asked.
Jesus answered, "I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you."
49Then Nathanael declared, "Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the King of Israel."
50Jesus said, "You believe because I told you I saw you under the fig tree. You shall see greater things than that." 51He then added, "I tell you the truth, you shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man."
Reading it reminded me of the story of Hagar, and how in Genesis 16:13, She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: "You are the God who sees me," for she said, "I have now seen the One who sees me." That is why the well was called Beer Lahai Roi; it is still there, between Kadesh and Bered.
When I was younger, the idea of a God who sees me was not comforting, but threatening: I thought of Him seeing me in my mistakes, displeased and frowning. It is only as I have gotten older that I have been able to understand why this idea of being seen would be anything but scary.
Being married and having children has perhaps been the biggest piece of enlightenment on this. "Seeing" my children means so much more than just monitoring their behavior; it means I see their hopes, their dreams, their fears, their worries. I see their laughter and I see the slump of disappointed shoulders. I see them strive and grow and change. I see their likes and dislikes. I see their love for me and their father, their battle to be independent people and yet to try to please us. I see us working together to be a harmonious, loving people.
The aspect of being married comes into it because Chris is the one person who knows me the most. He has seen me in triumph and despair, in sickness, in health, angry enough to kick a wall and happy enough that I seemed to walk on clouds. And amazingly, this seeing doesn't lessen me in his eyes; instead, he loves me--and in his love for me through all things, I learn to love him through all circumstances...because he sees me, and I see him.
And I think that this is where I wrap back around to Nathaneal and to Hagar. They saw God, they learned to look for Him--but only after He had seen them. They learned to trust Him, because first He sought them out, saw them, and entered their lives. In the same way, I am learning to love Him because first He loved me enough to see me.
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