![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I am thinking about a lovely couple that my husband and I know. It seems that no matter what oddness life brings our way, if we go and talk to them, they can share wisdom from their own experience. I have especially appreciated this when talking about the headaches and heartaches and joys of parenting. No matter what harebrained thing my kids have done, somehow they always have a story from their parenting years that makes me feel better. It is encouraging to know that even families that seem so perfect have had their struggles.
Take my mother-in-law, for instance: she seems so patient and gentle and strong that I can feel quite overwhelmed with my own weakness. It was a revelation, then, to learn that once when her children were younger, she grew exasperated with their refusal to put their shoes away. She scooped up all the shoes that were lying around and dropped them into the backyard, telling the kids to go and pick them up and put them away if they wanted them. I was astounded--she had lost patience before! She had been frustrated! I was suddenly not alone.
And that's how it feels when there are people who are willing to not just listen to our struggles, but share their own--current and past. We tend to try to hide these internal battles because we want to be strong. We want to put our best foot forward and let people see the person we are trying hard to be. But this can be a pretty lonely row to hoe if we never let anyone see the cracks.
We all have them. We all have times we did the right thing and had it blow up in our face anyway, or the time we spoke too quickly when we should have been silent, or the time our feelings got the better of what we knew we ought to do. I'm not saying we should be confessing our problems to each other every moment--how dreary that would be! But how can we help one another if we never see that we share fears, triumphs, and losses? How can we truly love one another if all we ever see is the image?
Sometimes, we have to put aside our image and let people inside to see that we are just people. We all are just people, after all. We have our glory and we have our sadness. Writers thrive because they pick up on themes that are common to "everyman" and "everywoman." If we could not connect with the characters, we would not read the books. The books speak to our hearts directly by the story of highs and lows...and we need to be willing to do the same.
Take my mother-in-law, for instance: she seems so patient and gentle and strong that I can feel quite overwhelmed with my own weakness. It was a revelation, then, to learn that once when her children were younger, she grew exasperated with their refusal to put their shoes away. She scooped up all the shoes that were lying around and dropped them into the backyard, telling the kids to go and pick them up and put them away if they wanted them. I was astounded--she had lost patience before! She had been frustrated! I was suddenly not alone.
And that's how it feels when there are people who are willing to not just listen to our struggles, but share their own--current and past. We tend to try to hide these internal battles because we want to be strong. We want to put our best foot forward and let people see the person we are trying hard to be. But this can be a pretty lonely row to hoe if we never let anyone see the cracks.
We all have them. We all have times we did the right thing and had it blow up in our face anyway, or the time we spoke too quickly when we should have been silent, or the time our feelings got the better of what we knew we ought to do. I'm not saying we should be confessing our problems to each other every moment--how dreary that would be! But how can we help one another if we never see that we share fears, triumphs, and losses? How can we truly love one another if all we ever see is the image?
Sometimes, we have to put aside our image and let people inside to see that we are just people. We all are just people, after all. We have our glory and we have our sadness. Writers thrive because they pick up on themes that are common to "everyman" and "everywoman." If we could not connect with the characters, we would not read the books. The books speak to our hearts directly by the story of highs and lows...and we need to be willing to do the same.
