Love Your Neighbor
Jan. 25th, 2010 07:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
krikketgirlIt's so easy to draw lines that divide. Even children do it--my sister and I once tried to divide our bedroom in half, based on where our beds were located. This didn't work well, given that the closet was on her side and the door to the hall on my side. After intense negotiations regarding right of way and fair usage, we lapsed back into glaring at one another from the sanctity of our respective beds.
It's easy to see this principle at work in wartime, or even every day in the political cartoons. It's so easy to draw "us" and "them" boxes, and then label the "them" box as ridiculous, laughable, wrong, misguided, even evil. We interpret actions, label the actions, and then presume to know why that person took that action--all within seconds or minutes. We then base our own actions and feelings on the slender reed of our own understanding of that other person--a person we now feel no need to truly understand at all.
I have people like that in my life (I talk big, don't I, for someone who has the same problem?). You do, too, I'm willing to bet. But let me tell you about these misguided, wrong-headed people.
They're worried that they should be eating better, but don't have time to think about it. They wonder, 'Should I be more focused on my weight? Less? How much does it matter?'
They hope their kids are going to cope well with changing schools. They hope their kids will get better grades. They hope tonight's math homework isn't as tricky for a parent with rusty math skills. They hope they have the answers when their kids ask questions about their relationships and their beliefs.
They have a difficult relative. They are loyal to their family and friends. They feel stretched too thin. They wonder if they're in a rut. They wonder whether they've sold out--or what that even means if you're not a musician. What that means if you are a musician. They wonder why the music they listened to as a teenager is now on the oldies station. They wonder whether they've accomplished what they wanted to accomplish.
They'd like to travel more. They'd like their boss to get off their back. They'd like to spend more time on their work and less in meetings. They wonder whether it would make more sense to fix their old car again or whether it would be better to get a new car or even a "new to them" car and whether they can even afford that.
They worry that they'll lose their jobs. They worry that they'll lose their spouse. They worry that their best friend seems distant these days and what that means. They wonder whether they should have said that one thing, should have written that e-mail, should have majored in something else in college.
They're like me. They're like you. Right now, we're not getting along...but in different circumstances, we probably would. Like us, they're likely more to be pitied than censured. How often would we have done something differently had we only known? It is so easy to explain ourselves away, and so hard to explain someone else away.
But when we reduce people to one example of their actions, we remove the dignity of the fact that they are a person, a whole person...a person that has worries and concerns and happinesses that we can only guess at. Forget the stars...our "enemies"? They're just like us.
It's easy to see this principle at work in wartime, or even every day in the political cartoons. It's so easy to draw "us" and "them" boxes, and then label the "them" box as ridiculous, laughable, wrong, misguided, even evil. We interpret actions, label the actions, and then presume to know why that person took that action--all within seconds or minutes. We then base our own actions and feelings on the slender reed of our own understanding of that other person--a person we now feel no need to truly understand at all.
I have people like that in my life (I talk big, don't I, for someone who has the same problem?). You do, too, I'm willing to bet. But let me tell you about these misguided, wrong-headed people.
They're worried that they should be eating better, but don't have time to think about it. They wonder, 'Should I be more focused on my weight? Less? How much does it matter?'
They hope their kids are going to cope well with changing schools. They hope their kids will get better grades. They hope tonight's math homework isn't as tricky for a parent with rusty math skills. They hope they have the answers when their kids ask questions about their relationships and their beliefs.
They have a difficult relative. They are loyal to their family and friends. They feel stretched too thin. They wonder if they're in a rut. They wonder whether they've sold out--or what that even means if you're not a musician. What that means if you are a musician. They wonder why the music they listened to as a teenager is now on the oldies station. They wonder whether they've accomplished what they wanted to accomplish.
They'd like to travel more. They'd like their boss to get off their back. They'd like to spend more time on their work and less in meetings. They wonder whether it would make more sense to fix their old car again or whether it would be better to get a new car or even a "new to them" car and whether they can even afford that.
They worry that they'll lose their jobs. They worry that they'll lose their spouse. They worry that their best friend seems distant these days and what that means. They wonder whether they should have said that one thing, should have written that e-mail, should have majored in something else in college.
They're like me. They're like you. Right now, we're not getting along...but in different circumstances, we probably would. Like us, they're likely more to be pitied than censured. How often would we have done something differently had we only known? It is so easy to explain ourselves away, and so hard to explain someone else away.
But when we reduce people to one example of their actions, we remove the dignity of the fact that they are a person, a whole person...a person that has worries and concerns and happinesses that we can only guess at. Forget the stars...our "enemies"? They're just like us.
