krikketgirl: (Road Trip)
I'm terrible at the memes that ask you to reflect on important dates. In fact, I remember very few: my birthday, the birthdays of a few select people who have dates that somehow stick in my mind, the date of my anniversary, and the birthdates of my children (though I have to think about it hard for a few seconds before I am sure).

The thing is that I am usually so busy trying to assimilate the big changes and work out their overall purpose and direction that I forget to really mark them in my head as "the date that changed everything."

So as I come to the end of another year, and I try to reflect on it and figure out what happened and how I changed, I am at a bit of a loss. Still, it is human to want to try to share some of the bigger items, though the faithful among you have lived through them as much as I have.

The big news, of course, was getting a full-time job. It struck with the suddenness of summer lightning and left me a little discombobulated. I had hoped that I would move into the new position with grace and dignity. Instead, I've melted down, doubted myself, and thought that I could never make it. Still, I've made it to the halfway point of my first (hopefully not only) school year as an employee.

Meanwhile, I've been continuing my own schooling, even though at moments it has seemed so very unworthy of the effort. My current schedule calls for graduation sometime in 2013...with a 2-year degree...so it's increasingly hard to hang in there and feel purposeful. Being inducted into the Phi Theta Kappa honor society helped me feel that I was at least accomplishing something.

My Oldest Son is...well, I don't think "blossoming" is the word; becoming a "hulking teenager." He is delightful some of the time and maddening some of the time, and I'm enjoying our first step into the teen years, though the thought of the changes and challenges to come sometimes makes my heart quiver and leap within me.

This year, I have been especially thankful for the friends that God has sent my way and for their compassion, mercy, and forgiveness. I've been thankful, too, for His care of me when I think that I am lost and alone. I have to say, Chris and the kids have been amazing, supportive, and comforting. I hope I can be to them even one tenth of what they have been to me.

Here's to 2010. May the end of it find me happier, wiser, better, and stronger. And here's to 2009. May it shimmer away to be stored peacefully among my memories in the cornerstone of all that is to come.

Happy New Year!

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krikketgirl

June 2015

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