krikketgirl: (Stairway)
I've been thinking a lot about Deuteronomy 6:10-12 lately. It reads:

So it shall be, when the LORD your God brings you into the land of which He swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give you large and beautiful cities which you did not build, 11 houses full of all good things, which you did not fill, hewn-out wells which you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees which you did not plant—when you have eaten and are full—then beware, lest you forget the LORD who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.

I've been thinking about it because we have been so blessed by so many people in the move from Indianapolis to Cincinnati, and truthfully even before then. There is so much furniture that we did not buy, but instead inherited or were given by family or friends. Our goods were transferred from place to place not primarily by us, but by so many willing hands--even people we hadn't met before they showed up to help lug our boxes. The cherry tomatoes we are beginning to enjoy are from a plant that we did not purchase, plant, or mulch; we did not weed or add good soil to the bed it lives in. All of that tending--and all of the other gardening around the house--was given to us from the goodness of a dear friend's heart. Many of the rooms that have been painted in the house were painted without my having raised a hand to do it, because I have been blessed with kind family and friends who came and painted as gifts to us.

This home is so precious to me, and I am so thankful for it. But I have to remain constantly in remembrance that it is not because of me or Chris that it is so nicely appointed. Instead, it is thanks to people whose hearts were moved by God to provide for us. It becomes, then, my responsibility to remember and to use these gifts not for my own benefit, but to give back to God and to my brothers and sisters.
krikketgirl: (Nora Really)
I sit down and think about what to write, but nothing comes to mind. The past few weeks there haven't even been any "fun" things to share, really. I get up, I do homework, I go to work, I come home, I make dinner, i do homework, I talk to The Man, I get the kids in bed.

Time right now is stretched as tight as the vacuum seal on a jar of pickle relish, and there are no signs of it letting up. I am registering for my summer classes, and only just now realizing that two of the three are 8-week classes. Can we say, "super-condensed"? Eeek.

On the other hand, the boys are pretty much hilarious all of the time, the kids at school are nutty, I have wonderful friends, and I know that I am incredibly blessed. So the ratio of time spent griping to time spent happy has shifted for the better.

Still, I'm ready for some certainty--this is a constant theme! People ask, "When are you moving?" and I say, "I don't know. Sometime this summer." In some ways, I can't even think about that. It's too huge. So I think about the next steps: tomorrow. This weekend. Next week. This class, and then the next class, and then Mother's Day, and then graduating and cake.
krikketgirl: (Rural)
I haven't been posting much because I haven't felt like posting much. Most of that has been because I've--quite honestly--been feeling pretty sorry for myself lately. This move thing has been really weighing me down. With everything so stretched out and no permanent base of operations established in Cincinnati, the whole thing feels like some weird dream where I'm going to wake up and try to find some symbolism in it ("Cincinnati? Hm. It starts with 'C'. Maybe it means I should eat more cake!").

So I think there has been a certain amount of emotion that comes from the upheaval and uncertainty of right now. It's hard to move--you pack your most-treasured things first, because they're the things you don't need. Before, I had a place we were going to, but now my treasures are going to a storage unit for the indefinite future. I'm gone, but not gone. I'm leaving, but I'm still here.

However, it's time to be done with the sorry-for-myself. There is so much here that I will miss. But the God that brought me to this pleasant place, the God who brought me an incredible husband and has blessed me with children and home and purpose, will not suddenly decide that He doesn't care about me anymore. He has not forgotten me!

So whether my heart thinks so or not, I am changing my modus operandi. Things are sad, but not tragic. This time is stressful, but not the end of the world. I need to do the next right thing, take a step at a time, and wrap up the things that are ending without unnecessary bellyaching.

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krikketgirl

June 2015

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